Paw-Paw Picking
For Jamie
Next to my pillowed head, your hair tousled,
images of bramble bird nest. You never
slept straight, your long limbs tossed
about and bent weirdly and estranged,
in all those mornings of waiting.
You kissed like you slept: all over the place-
favorites, the hollow of my neck
and corners of my small lips. Words
nonsensical and outrageously limp.
The touch of stealing covers and pushed
bottom sheet.
(words spoiled things, stale heels left
to mold in the breadbox.)
and when we did open our cavern to
voice we skirted and were vacillant
in nature. a p a r t and geographically
undesirable. but we stuck with
like old sticking plasters.
the last forshadowed the end, and was
all but ignored until that moment of severence
was knocking.
----
what do you guys think so far?
CL
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
142,321 Literary Works • 677,257 Reviews
I usually never linger in the lyric poetry section - it highly overrated for me, but I just wanted to check some of your recent stuff out. I enjoyed the comparison between how they slept, and then how they kissed. In fact, this is going great. But I think it desires an ending, or a new one.